What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
