If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
