I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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