Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize