Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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