so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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