yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
