if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
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My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
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he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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