Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Randomize
