I'm really into asian looking animals
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize