you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
