i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
This is classic penis vs brain.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
