We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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