I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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