The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
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Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
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Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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