she was so not down for the gang bang
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
