You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
