He is such a slut. More and more my type.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
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