remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
smell my finger.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
