when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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