Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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