well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Randomize
