Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize