i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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