how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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