with your own penis?
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
