i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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