Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
