1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
