I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
her facebook's as public as her vagina
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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