i love accidental penises.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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