i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
