I heard we made out
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
