I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize