Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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