is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Sext me about skeletons
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
