there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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