i permit you to call me
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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