VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
