How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas