i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?