She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid