So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
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