i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
