): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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