There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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