ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
You can't special order awesome
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
where does the pee come out of this thing
So gin and wine won't be happening again
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
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