What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
