My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Randomize
