I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
