I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
All I want is dick and wine.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
