I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
