Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize