Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
