i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
