did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
