hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
