hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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