You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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