I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
